Ok I looked it up and it is still possible for me to do my presentation at a later time, even if I don’t provide a valid reason for missing the day.
I am literally having the worst kind of anxiety right now, even if I had a completely prepared presentation I don’t think I could go on. But I ran into a technical problem and I think I might have to start all over with a new topic and stuff and I just cannot deal with that right now.
I might just email my professor and say I have to miss class for personal reasons and lie to Rick and say my presentation wasn’t today or something and then just see if the prof lets me make it up.
I didn’t think it was possible to hate myself even more than I already did, but now I do. School is just so not my thing.
My speech topic: Math is important
What time is it? 6:11pm
What are you doing? about to start making dinner
What do you want most in the world today? I need new highlights
Last thing you ate? Rockets because shhh
What has happened recently that made you happy? did a decent amount of work and also a bit of light reading. I think I am perhaps getting my shit together after all.
What has happened recently that made you sad? Rick continues to give no fucks about me or my life. Argh why is everything this wayyyy
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? Girl got passively aggressively attacked by the rest of the class. See: previous post
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I will probably pack fro reading week since I have no classes. Maybe I can wake up before noon this time though, that would be nice. A nice full day of packing and studying. Productivity. I need some.
In speechcomm today, the cutest girl did a speech on why you should eat less meat. She was arguing the benefits of eliminating meat from your diet one day a week, called Meatless Mondays. She was a vegetarian and was promoting the vegetarian lifestyle in general, but was only asking us to do MM. Overall it was a good speech. She is quite bubbly normally and when she tries to be serious it comes off a little ~too serious but we are all aware of this and no one has ever commented on it so far…it’s just how her voice is, nbd. WELL…
This girl that I absolutely hate decided to bring it up today. She ALWAYS has to speak during the comments section (usually about 80% positive feedback overall, we are a close group), and it’s always criticism from her, save for a couple of guys she clearly finds attractive. She talks sweetly but in that #sorrynotsorry way that let’s you know that she is a much better person than you in every aspect, and all your flaws are really stupid and so are you.
“The way you were talking was more about vegetarianism in general, and your tone was really offensive. I just felt like you were attacking me for eating meat. I mean, I’m not going to stop eating meat, I need my meat. You were just being really aggressive and I think you sort of offended people.”
The vege-girl nods meekly at this undeserved comment but then something awesome happened.
The rest of the people who spoke after her (~4 I think) all mentioned a comment along the lines of “I didn’t think you were being offensive, I thought you had a nice tone that was serious but not judgemental.” It was really obvious that people were mad at this stupid girl because there aren’t usually that many repeat comments.
When the next speech was over, the moderator and class in general just talk-blocked her and she didn’t get to give her two cents for once.
Take that bitch.
What time is it? 10:35pm
What are you doing? going to go for a shower after writing this. If I hear any garbage cans I swear to fucking god Aileen…
What do you want most in the world today? a magic water bottle always full of ice water and I wouldn’t have to pee every two seconds
Last thing you ate? Homemade burgers/fries for dinner
What has happened recently that made you happy? Hm. Found a temporary solution to my I-own-no-suitable-pants situation.
What has happened recently that made you sad? mfckn habs man.
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? *new* I skipped spcom today for my health. Didn’t think I’d have the guts. Oh right, must remember to email my professor with my ~excuse
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I’m going in to see my advisor about this whole enrollment nonsense. Just let me graduate. I just want to leave that’s all I want ok. Oh also it’s Valentines Day or something.
What time is it? 12:17pm
What are you doing? making a plan for today
What do you want most in the world today? I wish I lived by myself and didn’t know anyone, didn’t have a boyfriend, didn’t have any friends. Just went to school and went home and visited my mom on occasion. That’s really what I should do because I cannot handle social interaction at all and shouldn’t be allowed to converse with people ever.
Last thing you ate? Frosted Flakes
What has happened recently that made you happy? managed to get out of Rick’s bed without waking him and now I’ve set up a little homework cave for myself
What has happened recently that made you sad? it’s that kind of self-loathing, I hate everyone and fuck everything kind of day already.
What did you accomplish today? I need a new question here again. Any suggestions??
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … in speechcomm we are doing mini persuasive speeches and I am just not in the mood for all that pretentious bullshit. Everyone pretends like they care about all these high and mighty causes and whatever because they are all arts students who want to appear cultured and shit and everyone is intimidated because one guy is engaged and all the 18 year olds are freaking out thinking that they have to appear more adult. Like, just talk about facebook or some shit, no one cares if you don’t volunteer or donate to charity, honestly just relax and cut the crap.
What time is it? 8:42pm Oh good lord, is it really?
What are you doing? nothing. Should get on that.
What do you want most in the world today? kissing
Last thing you ate? pizza
What has happened recently that made you happy? Just…happier today. Lack of sleep makes me crazy perhaps. In fact…hm. There might be a strong correlation there, lack of sleep and happiness. I think I am happier on no sleep. That can’t be good in the long run can it
What has happened recently that made you sad? speechcomm was annoying and pointless to attend.
What did you accomplish today? went to all my classes and
killed wrote a test
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I have off yay. If only I can manage to do something productive instead of hang around naked about the apartment all day.
Because that’s all I’m thinking about right now.