What time is it? 9:05pm
What are you doing? trying to work on my essay but I keep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
What do you want most in the world today? Um. Lots of things. Lots of superficial things. Lots of not-so-superficial things.Things I can’t admit out loud, things that haunt me at 3am.
What has happened recently that made you happy? I have almost survived this week
What has happened recently that made you sad? I woke up a few minutes after I was supposed to leave for work today so I only had time to change and then run away and so I looked so awful that it affected my attitude all day. Never again.
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? I came home from work and laid down in my bed (like always) but instead of getting up after 15 minutes I took off my pants and slept for two hours and I was so disoriented. I think I have used up all my “winds” and likely may need to sleep for 20 hours or so, literally, at some point in order to catch up.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I’m alone at reception at work. Also, going to Hamilton yay finally
What time is it? 11:21pm
What are you doing? about to get settled in bed with some psych readings, then philosophy readings if I get to, then sleep. Mmm sleep.
What do you want most in the world today? more time to sleep
Last thing you ate? cheese and crackers
What has happened recently that made you happy? idk. Not been a great day. I guess I’ll use this space to say what happened at Health Services today. Apparently there are two kinds of “therapy” offered… one seems more legit than the other. I made an appointment with a doctor tomorrow, apparently you need to be referred by a doctor in order to see someone. And that kind of leads me to believe that it’s more for like…psychological disorders/diseases, which I really don’t think is the problem. If the doctor tells me to suck it up, there’s always “Counselling Services” which sounds more like what I wanted anyway, but the lady at the counter didn’t really give me a choice, she just made the appointment. It’s at 8:30am tomorrow so we’ll see what the doctor has to say about my situation. Stay tuned~
What has happened recently that made you sad? I am not sleeping enough.
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? Devin said he’s down for my BBQ this weekend. I really really expected him to say no. He might be bringing this one girl…and I mean, whatever, I’m over that, but it’s just going to be really awkward because her and I used to be great friends, the three of us did, and I don’t know how comfortable I am watching them make googly eyes at each other when, to me, they make no sense as a couple idk. Could be slight jealousy issues I guess, but I would really rather pretend that’s not true. I’ll see how they are together.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I have my doctor’s appointment at 8:30, class at 1:30, and my first ever lab at 4:30 which I suspect is going to be pointless as I already did the computer part of the assignment and I am quite familiar with the software, and I think that’s all the lab is about.
What time is it? 12:15am
What are you doing? sitting in bed. just sitting.
What do you want most in the world today? I can’t believe there is only one more week of vacation left noooo
Last thing you ate? Last handful of chips in the house, now parents stop buying please
What has happened recently that made you happy? Had a really nice day with five tu’s, albeit a tiring one.
What has happened recently that made you sad? Turns out that I need sleep to live
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? Ha, WELL. I got a call from rick about an hour ago. TURNS OUT that his exam WASN’T tomorrow at 4, it was tonight at 7:30. He missed it. Partly my fault although he did check online to confirm but he had his course code wrong and yeah. Said he was gonna fail it anyway but the phone conversation was actually really…fun? We were laughing and joking and referencing things and neither were mad at the other because we don’t answer to one another anymore. First time we’ve felt like friends in a couple weeks actually.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I am going to some workouty type place to cheer for wuugle as she lifts things and does other things that I don’t understand and will try not to wince.
What time is it? 2:10pm
What are you doing? just finished the second thing on my cleaning list, sitting for a moment to drink some pop.
What do you want most in the world today? Hmmm. What do I want. I wish I had some company for this cleaning day. Not even help, just someone to follow me around from room to room and tell me stories.
Last thing you ate? CHIPS OK I BOUGHT CHIPS SO SUE ME
What has happened recently that made you happy? I don’t know, I’m in a pretty good mood today. Life is good.
What has happened recently that made you sad? I had such trouble falling asleep last night, finally dozed off ~6am, couldn’t get up at 10 like I wanted (I’ve learned how to do the puzzle that shuts off my alarm in my sleep now), ended up getting up ~12:30. Not too bad I guess but I wanted a longer day.
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? Did 25min of cleaning my room and it made a bigger difference than I thought. Might actually have this all clean by the time a certain someone comes to visit, figured I would only just make a dent.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … Rick and I are going to Hamilton for 5ish days. Hooray!
What time is it? 10:54pm
What are you doing? attempting to do coding assignment, stuck because I forget basic linear algebra. Going to do this then get off my butt and get my old textbook. And popcorn probably.
What do you want most in the world today? lol April
Last thing you ate? um. good question. Oh right A&W
What has happened recently that made you happy? I don’t know that I’m ready to talk about it yet but be assured that there has been happiness had.
What has happened recently that made you sad? Felt very unprepared going into my speech, very disappointed in myself for a half-baked idea.
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? Well the speech went amazingly and apparently I am hilarious when I have to be so who knew. See tomorrow’s vlog for details or call the number on your screen within the next 30 minutes.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I can sleep in hooray sleep
What time is it? 9:59pm
What are you doing? finally off the phone with dad + family, now going to start on my coding assignment hooray nonstop school :/ It’s been a long day, I wish I could just take the night off, but ALAS I’m responsible now, who would have guessed it. Oh also have to email Niamh before bed!
What do you want most in the world today? It’s been such an up and down day, honestly, I just wish I could cry, I have so many emotions, and just like hug someone and they would go “shhh” but there is no time for silliness tonight, also no one to hug anyway.
Last thing you ate? popsicle during PLL if that counts, chicken burger for dinner if not.
What has happened recently that made you happy? woke up to a facebook message that made me smile. Then rocked my speech by some miracle. Then changed facebook relationship status. Awesomeness.
What has happened recently that made you sad? Well I was pretty annoyed by all the PLL things, gotta wait for Silina to get home from her night class and watch and text me so we can discuss things because I didn’t really follow it all tbh.
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? People being much more supportive re: status change than I thought, and less intrusive. A few texts etc, no one posting obnoxious comments with an abundance of unnecessary sad faces (yet), hopefully everyone just reads the status I made about it and goes on their merry way or continues to contact me in private, or just politely ‘like’ things.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I have no classes and I will try to not sleep all day although honestly I could really use it.
What time is it? 10:05pm
What are you doing? cryptography assignment
What do you want most in the world today? cuddles
Last thing you ate? popcorn
What has happened recently that made you happy? No fighting today, “just friends” going alright in that sense
What has happened recently that made you sad? Just standing next to him and not touching him and he doesn’t touch me and everything is backwards and I have no one to touch and it is awful because he smells good and used to let me touch his penis but now nothing. And it’s what I want but I am so used to have someone there to be affectionate with and now I just don’t all of a sudden and it’s hard and I know I am complaining way too much but I don’t care because you don’t have to read this so shut up. Just shut up. Because I need to touch people and feel warmth and I know that now. And so unless you are willing to come up here and cuddle me to sleep then just take it.
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? I went for a nap at ~8pm last night and woke up at 11 to take my pill and I was so tired I just laid down again for a second and fell asleep and woke up at ~8am and texted a bit and fell in and out of sleep before getting up at like noon. What.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … after school I’m driving into Hamilton (I think avec Rick, although he was originally going to stay up but then decided to come home for my mom’s birthday but now I’m not sure where we stand with that because we’ve since broken up and so idk what is happening). Then seeing people punch people and listen to other people make comments that I don’t understand about the punches and people who are punching. … violence~
(and super-tight pores)
Things I dreamed about:
That pretty much sums me up right there.