What time is it? 5:01pm
What’s going on? Trying to do nothing. Playing soem Candy Crush Saga right now, but I have a couple of things in mind for when that starts to get on my nerves… dishes, laundry, exercise…
What do you want most in the world today? Normal hormone levels
What has happened recently that made you happy? SLEEP
What has happened recently that made you sad? Gee, where do I begin. Only anything and everything. Once, I cried for no reason at all. It’s been nonstop today, I’m really not enjoying the ride this time around with these pills.
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? Apparently I’m going out for Silina’s birthday with Jessica (normal) and also our old friend Anya. I know they stayed friends with her off and on but I haven’t seen her in… about… 7 years or so. She is one of my oldest friends… became inseperable in fourth grade and in high school we went through kind of opposite phases and we went to different schools so she just kind of got phased out. But it seems like we might be compatible again, so the three of us might become the four of us again!
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … Paul has a work thing and I hope I can get some errands and chores done and then maybe watch the fifth Star Trek movie?
What time is it? 12:08am
What’s going on? Going to bed shortly, just doing some thing while I wait for Paul to get out of the shower. Feeling kind of down/up at the same time because I’ve been doing really bad at stuff this week (these entries, hygeine standards, etc) but today I did really well.
What do you want most in the world today? All my stuff to be here
What has happened recently that made you happy? Talked to Jessica a lot today, and a lot more lately. I really like that. I miss her when she’s not around. I felt for a long time that I wasn’t really as good of friends with her and Silina as they were with each other because they always knew more stuff that was going on in each other’s lives… I don’t mean like daily stuff or anything… we’re not really that kind of daily-chat people, but a couple times a week so we know the main things. I can’t wait for Silina to come back from Europe. The three of us will probably see each other so much more now that I’m not in school.
What has happened recently that made you sad? After all that desk moving stuff, there might be a problem with our set up. Paul’s pretty upset about it but I’m confident it’ll be ok. I just don’t like it when he’s upset.
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? I got called in to work a few hours this evening. It sucked actually, like when I was going through it, but as an event it was good because I really needed the hours. I just hate working afternoons because the staff is so grumpy and it’s not really busy so instead of serving customers like I do in the daytime and which is what I like to do, I have to clean and do all kinds of annoying little things like take temperatures and dump old food.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I work 9am-5pm and then hopefully I will actually get off my butt and clean the fridge like I’ve been saying I’d do for like a week now. Also, work interrupted our laundry, so there is still quite a bit to do. Hooray weekend fun (not)
What time is it? 8:05pm
What are you doing? We recently got home from Ikea and dinner with Andrew, and now I have some important computer stuff to do (*cough vlogs cough*)
What do you want most in the world today? More time cuddled with Paul in bed. We lied down and talked for like an hour when we got home but alas life called
What has happened recently that made you happy? Planning some camping for the summer in Algonquin! :o
What has happened recently that made you sad? I haven’t been feeling well
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? My tooth may finally be backing off. Still painful but seems on the mend. No drugs so far today.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I work at 6am bleh. BUT THEN I’M FINALLY SEEING JESSICA AND SILINA FOR CHRISTMAS and exchanging presents and possibly consuming alcohol
Sometimes I’m not the friend that everyone wants or needs. I can be absent and forgetful. I get lost in my own life and I don’t always ask the right questions.
But I’ll be there if you ask. And I care about what happens to you… the big and the little. I miss you when you’re not around and I make mental notes to show you things when I think you’d like them.
All I ask in return is not to hurt me on purpose when I hurt you by accident.
I’m a real person with feelings. I’m sick of being made out to be the bad guy. I’m sick of feeling crushing anxiety and the sting of tears at every jab.
In the eighth grade, Silina ditched Jessica and me on New Years to go to a party to drink with a bunch of people who didn’t care about her or her safety. And lied to me about it. It hurt us, but the two of us had our New Years together, talked to her about it a bit and moved on.
In the sixth grade, Jessica and I put on a variety show for the parents. When things went awry and everyone got mad at us, she left me alone to deal with a dozen screaming people and I had to run and hide in the supply room under dusty desks. I had never been so mad at her. I didn’t speak with her for two days, at the end of which I felt so guilty, I sent her a puppy “sorry” ecard and we talked about it a bit and moved on.
In both scenarios I can’t remember if either of them apologized to me and you know what? It doesn’t matter.
They are true friends and I am so grateful to have them in my life.
This post went a weird way but at least I successfully avoided crying.
When Jessica, Silina and I were young, whenever we would say something that we thought was new information to people, we would go
“I read about it in Hogwarts: A History”
in our best Emma Watson voice.
It was hysterical
I think I’m going to bring that back.
THAT’S IT that’s everything I can think of
What time is it? 8:06pm
What are you doing? just ate dinner with my parents, going to do some packing and sorting in a minute while talking with my sister on the phone
What do you want most in the world today? job + apartment
What has happened recently that made you happy? Hung out with Jessica (and briefly Silina) today and ugh it’s always so great to be all together. It was a grand time.
What has happened recently that made you sad? I almost got in an accident on the highway today when I lost control of my car majorly. It was horribly horribly terrifying. I have learned my on ramp lesson. Go. Slow.
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? I took Paul to the train station today and he was all fancy-ed up to go to the opera and he was at the door when I arrived which I wasn’t expecting and so seeing him so suddenly like that took me totally by surprise, and he was just standing there watching me approach and I swear I had a flash of our future wedding and seeing him there all so fucking handsome and watching me come towards him and I just wanted to cry because he is just the most fantastic UGH ok sorry.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … Paul and I are (probably?) going to Waterloo to hang around a bit and see campus and then also go see his friend that just bought a house there, which will be the first time I will be meeting this character.
What time is it? 7:05pm
What are you doing? just finished doing 2/3 of my assignment and now I’m going to study more, wait, what do you mean I’m only taking one class, shut up it’s HARD
What do you want most in the world today? Christmas whoops a bit early sorry everyone
What has happened recently that made you happy? I started getting this feeling like the material this week in class was just too over my head and I wasn’t going to be able to do the assignment which is practically not an option because I’ve already failed one and skipped another and we only get one freebie. But miraculously I grew in intelligence level overnight (maybe it was the sex that jarred something into place?) and so I zoomed through two proofs and I am a happy camper! :D
What has happened recently that made you sad? Not sure if it’s the hormones of starting back on the pill or if it’s just my everyday crazy but I’ve cried quite a bit today and yesterday and Paul has been right there at my side with his bottomless pit of patience and his ever-powerful love and knowledge of me and he just ugh, he just makes it all better. With every issue I face, I am not alone. And even though the quantity of attacks have increased over the last couple of months, their intensity is fading and the issues are being handled instead of just swept under a rug. I think being with Paul definitely opens up a lot of shit for me, because the concept that I can be so truly happy and cared for is sort of not sitting well with me, but it’s getting better every day. And the future has never looked brighter.
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? Silina says she has some big news but I can’t imagine what it could be! It has to be something romance or sex-related otherwise she would have announced it in a Facebook status (like if it were career or school or whatever) and if it were bad news like family or health then she wouldn’t have described it as “big” news. Gah I want to knooowww.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I’m picking up applications around Brantford for grocery stores.
What time is it? 1:07pm
What are you doing? just home from school, making some rice right now and I’m going to take a look at my resumé shortly.
What do you want most in the world today? sleeeeeeeeeep
What has happened recently that made you happy? I almost didn’t go to school today because I woke up an hour and a half late (aka it was practically time to leave) but I used up every last ounce of will power to go to school and I’m really happy that I did and that I was able to.
What has happened recently that made you sad? My bed was the saddest bed ever to see me leave it this morning
What happened recently that you didn’t expect? So far I haven’t come across an item that I forgot to pack in my overnight bag, even though I packed in like 1 minute. So maybe I actually pulled off speed-packing? Ok, well technically I forgot to pack track pants in case I wanted to wear them or in case I period-ed over my current pants but in reality I don’t need~~ them. So I think it still counts.
Finish this sentence: Tomorrow … I was supposed to tutor Silina but she has to do some important policewoman stuff so I’m not really sure what’s going on?